I tried yesterday to get back in the habit of writing, but after a few seperately themed introductory paragraphs I gave up. But it was some action. Impetus to get me writing today. Yesterday’s actions, for me, often drive todays choices. I have been without a post for a significant time, though I did end up posting on a friends blog about the time I was feeling the itch to write (“Seasons”). I have fallen out of the habit of regular writing, for now. There is a tendency in my life to go hard at an activity, and then jump to the next. Rafting season is now nearing the end, and climbing season looms on the horizon; following close behind is ski season. Perhaps sometime in the grey of winter writing will take hold of me again.
Partially due to money constraints, I have not made any progress on my winter structure. I also have this lingering awareness that there is very little in the means of work at this location in the wintertime. All the more reason to skip out this winter again. I don’t have my sights set, but skiing and ice climbing look really good on the horizon. Move to a ski town? I’ll hardly break even for all the time I spent here as a raft guide on the Arkansas river, but have the joy of learning a new river, with many runnable sections, as well as many new friends.
As I am developing the property the burden of realization of how I am changing this place ecologically weights on my mind. The road that I have created, solely out of use, is beat down along the path of the tire, with foot high grass going to seed down the center. The bumpy ride is a remembrance of the tufts of blue gramma that were there before I started here. I also look at the pad that I have leveled off, and see a little lost habitat. It isn’t only that I am building here, it is that I am driving every day, to and from. Deer are prevalent here, but are forced to more obscure corners as the traffic increases. Several of the surrounding properties are being developed rapidly as well, making me just one cog in the interruption of wildlife in this area. I rarely use power tools, or blast music, or shoot guns; those are some of the things that I see as most destructive to the migrating bird populations that are here visiting, or the deer and elk that I have seen further up the road. My dog will also chase anything that runs, and we have quite a perch to see from up on our little hill.
For a person like myself, who strongly believes that humans are a contributing factor to climate change, sitting in a car burning fossil fuels one hour every day feels awful. When I tell people I have a half hour commute they say its “not so bad.” I just see dead birds on the road. A week or so ago I hit a yellow Passerine with a yellow underbelly while driving to work in my truck. I saw it hit the road in my side mirror. Mountain Blue Birds and Robins regularly flutter in front of my vehicle, causing me to brake. Yesterday I nearly hit a rabbit, and last night there was a snake on the road (that I think I narrowly avoided). All these things are part of the ecosystem out here of which I am now also a part. My role however is only in devastation, but that is the social paradigm of the Anthropocene.